6 Reasons “Long-arms” Lincoln was a Badass
When you think of famous badasses, who do you think of? Kimbo Slice, Chuck Norris, James Bond, etc… Well I’ve got a new one for ya… Abraham Lincoln. Sure he never jumped out of an exploding plane or fought in the UFC, but he can hold his own, heres 6 reasons why: |
1) As you can see in the photo, Abe was the real father of hip hop. According to friends, he could often be found “driving slow, homie” and “slapping hoes.”
2) His face is on the $5 bill, which is way more badass than being on the $1 bill, quarter, dime, nickel, and penny. In Lincoln’s own words, “All those other babies can suck it!”
3) He is the creator of several popular catch phrases such as “Four score and seven years ago.” In addition, he was the first person to ever use the abbreviation “wtf”, “rofl”, and “lol” in everyday language, almost 200 years before they became popular.
4) He was a networking genius. Quoted as saying, “If you wish to win a man over to your ideas, first make him your friend,” Lincoln’s popular ratio on DIGG is 59%… he has discovered and stumbled over 29,353 websites, and his YOUTUBE channel has over 10 million views.
5) The man had Syphilis, and we all know how you get syphilis… from banging hoes.
6) He was straight up assassinated. In the fashion of Biggie and Tupac, haters showed up while he was hanging out and popped a cap. Suckers die of TB and weird-ass milk sickness. Real gangsters die hustling.
September 5th, 2008 at 11:59 pm
Ummm Yeah, i am pretty sure that Lincoln is on the penny too…
September 6th, 2008 at 12:15 am
I Believe in Lincoln… i say we all vote for him as a write-in in this years election
September 6th, 2008 at 12:20 am
“Ummm Yeah, i am pretty sure that Lincoln is on the penny too…”
Even if so, that just means he’s that much more of a badass
September 9th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
He paved the way for long-arms everywhere